Autistic masking is a common coping mechanism for many on the autism spectrum. Like a chameleon, you constantly try to blend in with the people around you to meet social expectations.
You adopt various personalities and social behaviors, putting on a unique “mask” for different social interactions—one for work, family gatherings, etc. While masking autism might help an autistic person navigate social situations, it causes mental health difficulties.
In this article, we’ll break down what autistic masking really is, how hiding your autistic identity impacts mental health, and how both parents and autistic adults can work toward recognizing and reducing masking behaviors.
Whether you’re supporting a child with an autism spectrum disorder or learning about your own experiences, understanding masking can help you identify hidden struggles and seek the right support.
What Is Autistic Masking?
Autistic masking, also known as social camouflaging and neurodivergent masking, is a conscious or unconscious effort to suppress certain autistic behaviors during social situations.
Camouflaging autistic traits involves forcing eye contact, scripting dialogues, subduing stimming (repetitive movements like hand flapping and rocking), and imitating social behaviors that non-autistic people consider normal or socially acceptable.
Gender differences play a crucial role in how autistic people mask, with autistic women often masking more intensely than autistic men. Autistic traits tend to look different in autistic women (female autism phenotype), potentially due to sexism and stereotypes of how certain people should behave.
Regardless of gender differences, high-functioning autistic adults often unknowingly start masking behaviors and developing coping strategies at a young age, making it second nature to hide their true autistic selves. Over time, this constant effort to blend in becomes so ingrained that an autistic person may not even recognize they’re autism masking.
Autistic people who’ve spent years of autism masking may not even realize they’re autistic. It’s only until they face autistic burnout and declining mental health which prompts them to get a late autism diagnosis.
Autistic Masking in Kids and Adults
A deeper understanding of autism masking is crucial in recognizing whether you or your child might be on the autism spectrum. It can help uncover hidden struggles and lead to a proper diagnosis, guiding you in how to better support autistic people.
High-Masking Autism vs. Low-Masking Autism
“High-masking” and “low-masking” autism aren’t official medical terms, but the autism community uses them to describe how autistic individuals navigate the neurotypical world.
Let’s start with low-autism masking. Autistic adults and kids who need substantial support, such as in the case of intellectual disabilities, have low-masking tendencies. This is often due to significant communication differences and a greater focus on their physiological needs.
In contrast, autistic individuals with minimal support needs—especially those with average or above-average IQs—are more likely to develop high-masking tendencies. According to Dr. Iain Dolan, autistic people capable of high masking have the following key characteristics:
- Internalization: Many autistic people conceal their true thoughts during social interactions to avoid judgment or rejection.
- Constant Adaptation: High-masking autistic people learn to devise compensatory strategies, such as altering facial expressions, mannerisms, and even their personalities to match different social situations.
- Shifting Interests: Autistic people with high-masking tendencies often adapt their hobbies and interests to match those of their friends, even when those interests don’t genuinely resonate with them.
- People Pleasing: Many autistic people learn early on that being agreeable, accommodating, and avoiding conflict helps them blend in and avoid negative social consequences.
You might also want to explore the Camouflaging Autistic Traits questionnaire CAT Q to better understand autistic traits exhibited during social camouflaging.
Signs Parents Should Know
Pay attention to patterns. Are meltdowns more frequent after school or/and after social events? It all comes down to how your child acts around non-autistic adults and kids, especially outside their comfort zone.
If your child often has meltdowns at home and seems easily overwhelmed, they might be mentally and emotionally exhausted from masking all day. Many autistic kids feel pressured to suppress their autistic behaviors at school and in other social situations to avoid standing out, getting in trouble, or being bullied.
By the time they arrive in a safe space like home, their bottled-up stress can pour out in emotional outbursts, irritability, or shutdowns. That’s why building trust and open communication are so important so that you can talk to your child and understand what’s causing them.
Why Autistic Masking Happens: Social Interactions and the Pressure to Camouflage Autistic Traits
We asked the autistic community to share their experiences, and the message was clear: many autistic people mask to hide their neurological differences and to pass as a neurotypical person in social situations.
Neurotypical society often reacts poorly towards autistic people, especially when they are openly exhibiting autistic traits, like stimming, avoiding eye contact, or struggling with small talk. Because of this, many autistic people learn to create a non-autistic persona, forcing themselves to hide autistic characteristics at a cost to their health.
Another major reason for autistic masking is employment among high-functioning autistic people. They say their job prospects shrink to almost nothing if they don’t conform. Companies that actively hire autistic people are rare. As a result, masking autism becomes a necessary survival skill to stay employed and independent.
The Impact of Autistic Masking on Mental Health
Autism masking may allow autistic people to navigate social norms and even thrive in their chosen careers, but the long-term mental health impact can be severe. When exhaustion reaches a snapping point, some may feel like there’s no way out and would rather end their life. This is why a deeper understanding and addressing the long-term impact of masking is crucial for preventing hopelessness and ensuring autistic people receive the support they deserve.
Social Anxiety
Hiding your true self to conform to societal norms can be incredibly taxing due to the mental gymnastics involved—monitoring your facial expressions, behavior, tone of voice, and reactions to ensure they align with what’s considered normal or acceptable in social situations. This relentless performance can lead to increased social anxiety.
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)
Many people with autism spectrum conditions also suffer from Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), where rejection or failure can feel like a dagger to the heart. For someone with RSD, a mild critique isn’t just feedback but a personal attack that triggers intense emotional pain. This sensitivity makes social interactions feel like a minefield, and your friends might even say they feel like they’re walking on eggshells around you.
Confusion
The long-term effect of autistic masking often leads to confusion. When autism masking runs so deep, autistic people might start to lose sight of their true autistic selves and have no preferences because their entire lives have just been guided by their peers or whoever they are with.
Depression
While autistic people have heightened self-awareness, the deep-seated disconnection between their true selves and the persona they are projecting can be disorienting. Over time, this suppression of behaviors and persistent effort can foster depression and suicidal thoughts among autistic adults.
Mental and Physical Exhaustion
Defining autistic burnout involves understanding the overwhelming mental fatigue and physical exhaustion that results from masking autism.
Intense self-monitoring—like planning, attention, inhibition, self-regulation, behavior adjustment, suppression of sensory responses, etc.—places a heavy burden on the brain’s executive functions, quickly leading to mental fatigue and cognitive overload.The more energy spent on masking, the harder it becomes to focus, complete daily tasks, or maintain emotional stability, ultimately leading to burnout.
How Parents Can Support Autistic Kids to Embrace Their Traits
As a parent, one of the most powerful things you can do is encourage your child to express themselves freely. Let them know that stimming is okay; it’s simply their unique way of interacting with the world. Help them discover their unique talents and give them the confidence to hone their strengths.
The same goes for parents of autistic teenagers who mask. Your home should be a judgment-free space where they feel safe to explore their passions and communicate in ways that feel more natural to them. Recognize their efforts and celebrate small wins.
Understandably, teens may feel pressured to conform, but they don’t have to force connections with people who don’t understand them. Encourage your kids to embrace their true selves, so they’ll attract people who appreciate and respect them for who they are. After all, healthy relationships thrive on authenticity.
What Research Says About Autism Masking
Autism research has highlighted a strong link between masking and increased mental health struggles, emphasizing the need for greater awareness and support for individuals with autism spectrum conditions.
According to the Interpersonal Psychological Theory of Suicide, autistic adults are nine (9) times more likely to have suicidal thoughts, even attempting suicide, than neurotypical people. Yet, the reasons behind this alarming statistic remain largely unexplored.
That said, internalized stigma often plays a major role. It occurs when autistic people feel social disconnection, perceived burdensomeness, and the long-term impact of autism masking.
When to Seek Help: Autism Diagnosis and Developmental Disorders
Autism is a spectrum, meaning your child might not exhibit the typical autistic traits others have during their childhood. For your peace of mind, consult a child psychiatrist, psychologist, pediatric neurologist, or developmental pediatrician.
For adults, a lifelong struggle with identity and social camouflaging may be a sign of unconscious masking. Don’t wait for mental health issues to escalate. Seek a diagnosis from a mental health professional right away to receive clarity, validation, and the right support to help you navigate life with greater self-understanding.